Torn

As details start to come in about mom’s pending surgery, the pressure starts to mount as I am torn between my noble duties as a daughter and my duties and responsibilities at work. It wouldn’t be a big deal under normal circumstances, but with only three of us that work in the office, only one can be on “vacation” at a time – and that would be my co-worker.

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

— Exodus 20:12

What do I do? My motto and mantra is "family first – always" but this one involves an 8-9 hour drive one-way just to get there, a strong sense of responsibility to my employers, a deadline that is not moveable, and an injured husband that has to make his doctor’s appointments. But, it’s my mom. We haven’t been on the best of terms for over 20 years but we have grown close again over that past couple of years – leaving all the garbage and hurt in the past – a tale for another time.

As I seek the Lord's leading and wait for my queue, I have a strange sense of calm blanketing the bubbling anxiety. I have to wait…just wait…the answer is in the making. Things are going to come together, I can feel it.

“But, what if this, or what about that?” Tell the yapping, faithless voice in my head to be quiet and wait.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

— Hebrews 11:1

Then it happens. My cell phone buzzes with an incoming text message. It’s my sister – the one that has been asking me if I’m going up to be with mom during her surgery. The one that has a very full plate of her own, and a looming trip to her favorite place on Earth – her little house in Idaho.  She informs me that she is leaving in the morning to make the drive up to mom’s and will take her to the hospital and stay until she is settled back home in a day or so. Then, she will make her long drive back home in time to load up and make the family road/hunting trip to Idaho.  God bless my sister richly!

Thank you, Lord for answered prayer and another chance to tune my spiritual ear to hear your still small voice. But, most of all for your patience with me as I learn patience and build my faith in You.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

— Hebrews 11:6