Friday, October 21, 2011

Finding Answers

Having the office all to myself for a few moments, I took advantage of the time to glean information from my mom about her recent doctor’s appointment. Still in the discovery stage of the cancer situation, all of the tests, appointments, an assortment of doctors, and details that need attention are stacking up. Lots of activity going on and yet there is the “hurry up and wait” syndrome happening as well.

Frustration and anxiety raise their ugly heads. How do I take care of all that needs to be taken care of while being so far away? Why in the world did she feel the need to move so far away ten years ago? Her living situation is far from conducive to health and healing. What am I going to do with the 14 dogs that she insists on keeping? She can’t care for them (or all of their messes) and get well after surgery and during radiation treatment. She loves those darn dogs. They have been a comfort for her as well as a big headache. Why do we do these things to ourselves? Didn’t she say something about a mold problem that was never really resolved in her house? Oh, dear God, I have to get her out of there!

When I take a look at everything on my plate right now – our family’s birthdays sprinkled in with the holidays; living in the mountains with wintertime bearing down on us; a recovering husband just starting physical therapy after surgery on his cervical spine; helping my young daughter with her newborn – my beloved grandson; while working a full-time job - I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. Lord, help me to break it down into bite-sized chunks. Show me when, where, and how to let go of things that I have no business holding onto.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. —Matthew 11:29

Time to start counting the blessings – focus on the good and perfect gifts in everyday. I can do this - not by my strength, but Yours. I simply must take you at your word. You love me and are concerned with every detail of my life. You have great things in store for me. I am the apple of your eye. I thank you, Lord, for my family, my home, my friends, and even these “teaching moments.” Let my heart remember that I do not walk this existence alone. Each day is to be lived fully. Life is not to be run blindly toward the grave.

I thank You that you search the deeper things and know me completely. I am free to come to you just as I am because you know everything about me. Nothing is hidden. There is no darkness in your presence. There is peace and rest in that knowledge.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."
— Zephaniah 3:17

1 comment:

  1. My dear Tami - I am SO proud of you for taking the blogging plunge! This is a beautiful place to be. I can feel your heart here (and yes, I DID note the chicken on the side table, LOL), and I love that you've found a place to open up and share. This is awesome, but I do have to correct you on one ARE a great writer; very eloquent and well spoken! Wish you'd activate your "Followers" box so I can be the first :) So much love and many, many hugs to you, my sweet friend.


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